Saying Sorry...

There comes a time in our lives that truly hurt.
These are the times that leave you confused, scared, helpless, and afraid of what is to come.

Today is one of those times.

I cannot begin to explain how difficult it is for me to see their pain, their anguish, their disappointment in me.
All i can think is how big of a failure I am for allowing them to endure such heartache.
All i can say is I am sorry.

I am sorry for not making it.
I am sorry for the hardships you had to endure because of me.
I am sorry for hurting you.
I am sorry for everything that I have done that fell short of your expectations.
I am sorry for disappointing you...

I gave it my all and sometimes my all falls short.

I know saying 'sorry' doesn't make it all better.
I know it doesn't give me another shot at the mistakes that I have done nor my various shortcomings.

All i hope for is that you forgive me for it and for accepting me despite my failures.
That is all i can ever want and hope to receive...

My friend wrote a post in Facebook saying how God does not throw things at you if He knows you can't handle it. I truly believe that. I know I did my best, and I have no regrets on how the results came to be.

It just hurts knowing that all that time, work, and sacrifice that you have put into something sometimes doesn't put you where you anticipated yourself to be.

What you hoped to become.

I know I failed...

And it is through this failure, that has led me to believe that even though you did your best, you have to accept that their are some things in life that you do not have any control over...

What's worse is that I did not just fail you but also everyone around me.
My family, mentors, tutors, and friends, and again I am sorry.

All I hope and pray for is another chance.
Another chance to prove to myself that i can accomplish anything and another chance to make you proud of me.

One chance is all I ask for. That's all anyone can ever ask for.

I'm sorry...




The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

- Reinhold Niebuhr